Who is the Sandwich Generation?

Meet Lisa, a 47-year-old human resources manager who lives in Toronto with her two teenage sons and often finds herself juggling between her demanding job, soccer practices, and school events. At the same time, Lisa is the primary caregiver for her 75-year-old mother, who has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and requires increasing amounts of daily support. Like so many people in her phase of life, Lisa is sandwiched.

In the broadest sense, the “sandwich generation” is the “caught in the middle” generation who have living parents and children. More specifically, the term often refers to middle-aged people who support both their aging parents and their children, whether financially, physically or emotionally. Multigenerational needs have increased ever since the COVID-19 pandemic, with record numbers of adult children moving back home and with elderly parents needing new forms of care. This pressure is only mounting on the sandwich generation, as support and vital resources are scarce. As these trends continue, more people will find themselves in this generational squeeze, making it an increasingly important social and economic issue.

Development of the concept  

The term sandwich generation was first introduced by Dorothy Miller and Elaine Brody in 1981 [1,2]. The construct originally refers to younger women in their 30s and 40s who were taking care of their children, but also had to meet the needs of their parents, employers, friends, and others. Historically, women typically had children around the age of 20, when their own parents being around 40, were generally still independent and healthy. However, in more recent times, particularly in developed countries, women often have children closer to age 30. By then, their parents are around age 60 and more likely to need support, perhaps even before their grandchildren reach adulthood.

As such, this concept has changed with societal and demographic shifts. People are living longer, children are growing up and needing continued care, there is an increasing cost of living, and with a higher need for dual incomes to sustain household, the "sandwiching" effect is felt by both men and women between their 30s and 60s.

Multigenerational households are also becoming more common and accepted in our society. Due to a decreasing economy, research shows that there has been a substantial increase of young post-university kids who return home to live with their parents and continue living with them post degree. In a study done by the Pew Research Center in 2012, about 29% of young adults ranging from the ages of 25–34 live with their parents [3]. As such, parents of these young adults have pressures to care for their children longer than they expected, as well as also being expected to assume the role of caretaker for their elderly parents.

Challenges faced by the sandwich generation

Financial Navigation

One of the most pressing challenges for the sandwich generation is managing financial strain. Balancing the costs of elder care, child care, education, and daily living expenses can create significant financial pressure. Many find themselves postponing retirement savings or experiencing stalled career growth due to caregiving duties.

Emotional Wellbeing

The emotional and psychological toll on the sandwich generation can be profound. Stress, guilt, and fatigue are common as individuals struggle to meet the expectations and needs of both children and elderly parents. This can lead to burnout and mental health challenges.

Time Management

Managing time effectively becomes a critical challenge. Allocating sufficient time for children, elderly parents, personal relationships, and self-care while maintaining professional responsibilities can seem like an impossible juggling act.

Impacts of Social Media Culture and Trends

The rise of social media and "hustle culture" has further complicated life for the sandwich generation. Platforms often glorify busyness and multitasking, which can add pressure to already stretched individuals. This culture can make those in the sandwich generation feel inadequate or unsuccessful when they see others apparently excelling in their personal and professional lives. It’s important to remember that social media often represents a handpicked view of reality and that it’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize one’s own mental health and wellbeing.

Caring for Children and Parents

The practical aspects of caregiving, which may include navigating healthcare for the elderly, attending school events, and maintaining an active presence in the lives of both dependents, can require significant balance and energy. Each role comes with its own set of demands which can add up and become overwhelming.

Strategies to help manage stress

Having a financial strategy:

It can be helpful to create a comprehensive financial plan that considers short-term needs and long-term goals, such as college funds and retirement savings. Prioritizing and budgeting can become important to address immediate needs and plan for the future. This can also involve exploring available government assistance programs for elder care and child benefits which can provide some financial relief and support.

Employer support:

Seeking workplace support can also alleviate some burdens. This might include flexible working arrangements, telecommuting options, or employee assistance programs that offer resources for personal and family care.

Family and community supports:

Engage the support of siblings, other relatives, or community resources to share the caregiving responsibilities. Support groups, both online and in-person, can also offer valuable advice and emotional solidarity.

Recognize how you deal with stress: 

Are you using unhealthy behaviors to cope with the stress of supporting your children and parents, and is this specific to certain events or situations? Put things in perspective—make time for what’s really important. Prioritize and delegate responsibilities. Identify ways your family and friends can lessen your load so that you can take a break. Delay or say no to less important tasks.

Self-care:

Maintaining personal health and wellbeing is crucial. Regular exercise, hobbies, social activities, and proper rest should not be neglected, as they play a significant role in overall resilience and capacity to care for others. No matter how hectic life gets, you need to take care of yourself—which includes making time for yourself—so you have the mental and physical energy to care for your parents and children.

 

Letting go of perfect balance:

Finally, recognizing that achieving a perfect balance every day may not be feasible can help reduce stress and feelings of inadequacy. It's important to set realistic expectations and forgive oneself when things don’t go as planned.

Being part of the sandwich generation presents a complex array of challenges, but with thoughtful strategies and support systems, it is possible to manage these responsibilities effectively. By acknowledging these difficulties, seeking support, and employing practical strategies, those caught in the middle can navigate these demanding times to not just survive, but thrive.  

Sources Used

1. Brody, E. M. (1981). "Women in the middle" and family help to older people. The Gerontologist, 21(5), 471-480. https://doi.org/10.1093/geront/21.5.471

2. Miller, D. A. (1981). The ‘sandwich’ generation: Adult children of the aging. Social Work. https://doi.org/10.1093/sw/26.5.419

3. Parker, Kim. (2012). Pew Research Social & Demographic Trends.