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What is Tiger Parenting?

Parenting – it's a journey filled with decisions, strategies, and hopes for our children's future. Among the diverse array of parenting styles, one that has sparked significant debate and scrutiny is Tiger Parenting.

Coined by Amy Chua in her influential book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," this approach is characterised by strict discipline, high standards, and an unyielding pursuit of success.

While some praise its potential to cultivate high-achieving individuals, others raise concerns about its impact on children's well-being and development.


Growing up in a household with South Asian roots, I experienced firsthand the weight of parental expectations. While I wasn't subjected to strict Tiger Parenting, the pressure to fulfil certain career paths and academic standards was heavy. Deviating from these expectations brought disappointment and self-doubt, leading to a sense of inadequacy. It's crucial to acknowledge that the aspirations of parents may not always align with the desires of their children.

Research conducted by Runzhu Zhang (2024) sheds light on how Tiger Parenting, alongside its counterpart helicopter parenting, can hinder children's autonomy and self-efficacy as they mature. Of course I understand where my parents were coming from,

however, these expectations made me feel less as an individual and just simply as my parent’s daughter and nothing more.


How does Tiger Parenting work?

Tiger Parenting is characterised by a demanding and controlling parenting style. Parents employing this approach typically set exceedingly high standards for their children's academic performance, extracurricular activities, and overall behaviour.

They believe in rigorous discipline, often resorting to strict rules, harsh criticism, and relentless pressure to ensure their children to excel. Tiger parenting is different from authoritarian parenting as it combines levels of negative parenting and levels of positive parenting (being engaged with the children’s life and wanting children's success).

Supporters of Tiger Parenting argue that its emphasis on discipline and high expectations fosters resilience, determination, and a strong work ethic in children.

They argue that by pushing their children to their limits, they are preparing them for the competitive realities of the world. Of course, some children raised under Tiger Parenting may achieve remarkable academic and professional success.


However, critics highlight the potential drawbacks of this approach. They argue that the intense pressure and authoritarian style of Tiger Parenting can lead to damaging effects on children's mental health and well-being. Research suggests that children subjected to excessive pressure may experience heightened stress, anxiety, and even depression. Moreover, the relentless focus on academic achievement may come at the expense of other crucial aspects of child development, such as creativity, social skills, and emotional intelligence.


Understanding Tiger Parents:

So, why are Tiger parents the way they are? What is the psychology underlying all of these demands and rigorous rules? It's tricky, but how the parents were raised and culture play a significant role. Many parents who use this type of parenting were raised by tiger parents themselves. Additionally asian communities (where the tiger parents philosophy originated) have a strong culture that emphasises the importance of discipline, academic success, and responsibility; typically, academic success is also directly associated with advancement in society and social class, so the more educated and successful you are, the higher you rank in social class within the community. As a result the importance put upon children is not only for the parent’s dream of successful children, but for the parent’s to have children who add value in the society in which they live. This combination of societal standards and personal ambitions shapes the psychology that underlies tiger parenting's strict regulations and high demands.


What does Tiger Parenting look like?

Setting extremely high standards for the children:

Tiger Parents often set exceptionally high standards for their children across various domains, including academics, extracurricular activities, and behaviour. For instance, they may expect their child to consistently achieve top grades in school, excel in multiple extracurricular activities, and demonstrate impeccable manners at all times.

These standards are non-negotiable and are enforced with strict rules and consequences for failure to meet expectations. For example, a Tiger Parent may insist that their child maintain a perfect GPA, regardless of the child's interests or aptitudes.


Putting the utmost value and importance of academics and career over other aspects of a child's life:

In Tiger Parenting households, academic achievement and career success often take precedence over other aspects of a child's development, such as socialisation and creativity. For instance, a Tiger Parent may prioritise rigorous study schedules and academic enrichment programs over opportunities for socialising with peers or pursuing creative hobbies.

They may view activities like playdates, art classes, or recreational sports as distractions from academic pursuits and discourage their child from participating in them. As a result, children raised under Tiger Parenting may lack opportunities for unstructured play, social interaction, and creative expression, which are essential for holistic development.


Assuming the parent's goal is the same as the child's and inflicting it onto the children:

Tiger Parents often project their own aspirations and goals onto their children, assuming that their children share the same ambitions. For example, a parent who values academic success above all else may pressure their child to pursue a specific career path, such as medicine or law, without considering the child's individual interests or talents.

This imposition of parental expectations can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and a sense of being misunderstood in the child. The child may feel obligated to fulfil their parent's dreams rather than pursuing their own passions and aspirations.


Using comparisons and shame as punishment:

In Tiger Parenting households, comparisons to other children and the use of shame as a form of discipline are not uncommon. For instance, a parent may compare their child's academic performance or achievements unfavourably to those of their peers, using such comparisons as a means of motivation or as a way to instil a sense of competition.

Additionally, Tiger Parents may resort to shaming tactics, such as criticising their child publicly for perceived failures or shortcomings, in an attempt to elicit compliance or improve performance.



Finding a Happy Medium:

In navigating the difficulties of parenting, finding a balance between ambition and well-being is crucial. While setting expectations and instilling discipline are vital, it's equally important to foster an environment of support, understanding, and autonomy. Encouraging open communication, respecting individual interests, and nurturing emotional intelligence can contribute to a child's overall development and resilience.

Ultimately, parenting is a dynamic journey shaped by adaptation, empathy, and continuous learning. By embracing a holistic approach that prioritises both achievement and emotional well-being, we can nurture confident, well-rounded individuals equipped to thrive in an ever-evolving world.










Sources Used

Cheah, C. S. L., Leung, C. Y. Y., & Zhou, N. (2013). Understanding “tiger parenting” through the perceptions of Chinese immigrant mothers: Can Chinese and U.S. parenting coexist? Asian American Journal of Psychology, 4(1), 30-40. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0031217


Doan, S. N., Tardif, T., Miller, A., Olson, S., Kessler, D., Felt, B., & Wang, L. (2017). Consequences of ‘tiger’ parenting: a cross‐cultural study of maternal psychological control and children’s cortisol stress response. Developmental Science, 20(3), n/a-n/a. https://doi.org/10.1111/desc.12404


Guarnotta, A. E. (2023, July 5). Tiger parents: Definition & impact on mental health. Choosing Therapy. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/tiger-parents/

Kim, S. Y. (2013, July 1). What is “tiger” parenting? How does it affect children? Developmental Psychologist.


Kobakhidze, M. N., Ma (马莹), Y., & Tsaloukidis, A. (2023). Tiger Parenting Beyond Cultural Essentialism: Discourses of Class, Culture, and Competition in Hong Kong. ECNU Review of Education, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/20965311231198252


Zhang, Runzhu, and Zhenhong Wang. 2024. “Effects of Helicopter Parenting, Tiger Parenting and Inhibitory Control on the Development of Children’s Anxiety and Depressive Symptoms.” Child Psychiatry and Human Development. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10578-024-01685-3.

 
 
 

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